Caught The Leap Years, and yes, I cried. I cried because there's a part in the movie which mirrors a part of my life, which is "everything I ever dreamed of, but everything wrong."
It reflects my situation with love of my life, and it just saddens me to think that there might be a possibility that we will end up being apart together. The oxymoron of it angers me.
Just like the character of Li-Ann, I do not get together with someone, for the sake of being with someone. If it doesn't feel right, then it most probably isn't. That is what I believe in. There has been several great guys going after, and waiting on for me for years, and as much as I want to try it out with them to see if it works, I just couldn't do it. Because it just doesn't feel right, and I don't wish to lead them on, only to hurt them more.
That, is the reason behind my single status for the past 4 years. I've dated a couple of guys but nothing comes out of it eventually. People ask me why is that so, but how do I answer them? That it just doesn't feel right?
It is the same for love of my life. We love each other, but we know there's something missing. We could have been the best match for each other, but it just doesn't feel right at this point in time.
Apart from being angry at the situation, I know not of what else to feel or do.
The similarity of the situation to the movie, hits me even harder. Not many people will take the chance of finding out only every 4 years, whether the decision they made is the right one. Myself however, belongs to one of those, who will take that chance. And now the question is, just how far will I go?
I don't deny the fact that I pushes guys away, because I'm afraid of them falling for me. Some times I even make myself out to be ugly, so that no one will take interest in me.
I suppose I have been too comfortable with being by myself for the past 4 years, that I know not of how to be with someone else.
I am afraid, and so I will hide away. I will not love again, for I have no confidence in myself that I'll be fair to the other party. There is a high tendency that I will run away, at the first sign of falling in love.
So please love, elude me.
It reflects my situation with love of my life, and it just saddens me to think that there might be a possibility that we will end up being apart together. The oxymoron of it angers me.
Just like the character of Li-Ann, I do not get together with someone, for the sake of being with someone. If it doesn't feel right, then it most probably isn't. That is what I believe in. There has been several great guys going after, and waiting on for me for years, and as much as I want to try it out with them to see if it works, I just couldn't do it. Because it just doesn't feel right, and I don't wish to lead them on, only to hurt them more.
That, is the reason behind my single status for the past 4 years. I've dated a couple of guys but nothing comes out of it eventually. People ask me why is that so, but how do I answer them? That it just doesn't feel right?
It is the same for love of my life. We love each other, but we know there's something missing. We could have been the best match for each other, but it just doesn't feel right at this point in time.
Apart from being angry at the situation, I know not of what else to feel or do.
The similarity of the situation to the movie, hits me even harder. Not many people will take the chance of finding out only every 4 years, whether the decision they made is the right one. Myself however, belongs to one of those, who will take that chance. And now the question is, just how far will I go?
I don't deny the fact that I pushes guys away, because I'm afraid of them falling for me. Some times I even make myself out to be ugly, so that no one will take interest in me.
I suppose I have been too comfortable with being by myself for the past 4 years, that I know not of how to be with someone else.
I am afraid, and so I will hide away. I will not love again, for I have no confidence in myself that I'll be fair to the other party. There is a high tendency that I will run away, at the first sign of falling in love.
So please love, elude me.
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