I’ve been keeping track of the time and now that I realise there’s 5 months left, reality starts to hit home. Should I focus only on the deadline of getting all documentation done, there’s only 3 months.
When I first returned toSingapore
Why the fear?
I simply don’t know. There weren’t this much fear during the virgin experience out of home. I was excited and nervous, but not fearful. So what’s bringing about this fear this time?
Perhaps it’s the knowledge that I’ll be gone for a much longer duration, and the unknown future of the new phase of life I’m about to embark on. The one source which I’m certain about is the fear of losing my friends.
Being away for only a year and a half has left things changed between me and some of my closest friends. Differences in opinions and ways of life are the two biggest driving forces.
To be completely honest, I have yet to meet my best girl friend at all ever since coming back. We made the attempts initially, but eventually failed to follow up. A mutual friend of ours met her during a function and asked if she knows I’m back, and she said yes, lying that we’ve met a couple of times. The mutual friend knows that we’ve yet to meet up.
So what is left to desire when the duration of being away is more than doubled? I’m counting my blessings that things haven’t change between me and Jessica. We got even closer. It’s fortunate that we’re both adaptive and open to changes, and are both making efforts to learn about the new changes in both of us. It is also because of this that I’m very reluctant to leave. I’m afraid that things will change between us. She knows that too, and sent me a text:
“Someone once said that real friends are able to have a conversation and leave halfway, being away for 10 years and when they’re back, pick up the conversation where it left off, as if time hasn’t passed.”
It isn’t helping much that she once mentioned “Why do I have a feeling that if you leave this time around, you won’t be coming back?”
Of course, there’s this particular person whom I don’t wish to leave, but as I’ve promised myself, I will leave everything to pursue what I want. And as I believe, ce qui sera, sera.
So just what else is fuelling my immense fear? At the height of it, I felt restless and extremely insecure while I lie in bed trying to fall asleep.
So just what else is out there?
When I first returned to
Why the fear?
I simply don’t know. There weren’t this much fear during the virgin experience out of home. I was excited and nervous, but not fearful. So what’s bringing about this fear this time?
Perhaps it’s the knowledge that I’ll be gone for a much longer duration, and the unknown future of the new phase of life I’m about to embark on. The one source which I’m certain about is the fear of losing my friends.
Being away for only a year and a half has left things changed between me and some of my closest friends. Differences in opinions and ways of life are the two biggest driving forces.
To be completely honest, I have yet to meet my best girl friend at all ever since coming back. We made the attempts initially, but eventually failed to follow up. A mutual friend of ours met her during a function and asked if she knows I’m back, and she said yes, lying that we’ve met a couple of times. The mutual friend knows that we’ve yet to meet up.
So what is left to desire when the duration of being away is more than doubled? I’m counting my blessings that things haven’t change between me and Jessica. We got even closer. It’s fortunate that we’re both adaptive and open to changes, and are both making efforts to learn about the new changes in both of us. It is also because of this that I’m very reluctant to leave. I’m afraid that things will change between us. She knows that too, and sent me a text:
“Someone once said that real friends are able to have a conversation and leave halfway, being away for 10 years and when they’re back, pick up the conversation where it left off, as if time hasn’t passed.”
It isn’t helping much that she once mentioned “Why do I have a feeling that if you leave this time around, you won’t be coming back?”
Of course, there’s this particular person whom I don’t wish to leave, but as I’ve promised myself, I will leave everything to pursue what I want. And as I believe, ce qui sera, sera.
So just what else is fuelling my immense fear? At the height of it, I felt restless and extremely insecure while I lie in bed trying to fall asleep.
So just what else is out there?
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