Life is Good.

I don't have the urge to share any of my thoughts again. Perhaps it'll be a phase, perhaps it will not be. Maybe there will be a new ground. Otherwise this might be locked. Still contemplating.

There are many things on my mind. Am I a late bloomer? Seeing the things that others have achieved is bringing me into yet another self-beating. Why the constant disparagement against myself? One day it will bring me down for good. One too many trip-up and it may one day be permanent.

I'm constantly sad. But does that means I'm unhappy? Is there an exclusive relationship between sadness and unhappiness? Is there any identifiable links between sadness and unhappiness? Can you be happy but sad? Can you be sad but happy? How about happy, yet sad? And sad, yet happy? Words. They are a tricky bunch.

Am I a thinker? Am I a healer? Am I a teacher? Am I a learner? Am I none of those? Am I any of those? I am an occasional reader. Sometimes I just glance through sentences without absorbing the meaning to it. I'm anxious to get to another paragraph. Another paragraph which interests me.

I hate ingesting solids. I hate it because I hate seeing what comes out of it. I hate putting things into my body which makes me feel ill or at unease. I have a poisonous vermin in my mind, worming an intricate network of subliminal messages. I am made of clay.

Clay... That unfinished piece of art. How long has it been now? It has been a good 8 years, yet it still haunts me. I suppose I'm meant to finish it. I think I should. I need peace. Inner peace. That is precious.

I miss you. Do you know that? I cried while talking to you over the phone. Did you know that? It hurts me to know what's going on in your life right now. Do you know that?

Sometimes I think I am desperate. Desperate for a way out. Out of where? Out of this environment I loathe, or just plain out of my mind? The mind makes what you feel of everything. So perhaps it is my mind that I want out of.

August is approaching. It is going to hurt real badly. Time to hibernate from the truth.

Time to run.

Time to take flight.

Time to say goodbye.