Do not eat where you shit.

The truth that rings with this statement is so intense that it's driving me deaf. Wise words are wise words, although they sometimes don't sound very graceful. But that's the brutal truth!

Honesty in bright day light, so to speak. There will certainly be doubts and some fumbling along the way, but somehow I feel that this will go right. The last time I felt this way was 6 years ago. How ironic that the timing is almost coincidental.

There are many things to be thought through, and there are many decisions to be made. Will what one gives up be one's regret in future? Nobody knows for sure. The future is too misty and far off. We have to treasure and hold on to the present.

What do I want?

I want you to be able to trust me on my words. I want you to know and be confident in the fact that I made the decision to stand by you. And when the time comes that I promise my commitment, please trust me fully on it. Don't doubt me. Trust is a really precious gift in my eyes.

Let there be trust and respect.

What do I want?

I want to continue earning my own keep. I want to relieve my dad of his load. I want to be part of the family, to contribute to it. If, at the end of the day, that piece of paper is what I really want, I want to earn it on my own. It's a decision on my part to choose this particular path, when there are other easier ones available. So therefore, I have to be responsible for my own wants and desires.

What do I want?

I want a life of my own. I want to paint my canvas the way I deem fit. I want to steer and hoist my vessel in the direction I see fit. I want to live for myself and for those whom I care. I want to put my heart and soul into every single things I do, and be proud of it. As long as I'm able to answer to myself, that is all that matters.

So who is Elise? Who will she be?

I don't know.

I only know that she's crazy.

And damn proud of it.

=)