Sunday, June 07, 2009

Marriage

I believe that I do not need marriage to prove my love, ability and sincerity to carry through my decision to commit to someone.

Marriage is a legal ceremony to protect the parties involved, but unless a child comes into the picture, marriage is not necessarily the path I'll walk down. But it doesn't mean that I will not get married. I just don't find it necessary.

If I need an insurance to back my decision to spend the rest of my life with someone, then perhaps I'm better off not doing so. If I need an incentive to honour my words, then perhaps I'm better off not saying them.


It's a commitment. It's a decision saying "Yes, I'll walk through thick and thin, ups and downs, for better or worst, with you." It's the sharing of a common goal between two individuals, learning and accepting their differences, and sincerely wanting to make it through together. It's a balance of giving and taking. It's the complements of strengths and weaknesses. It is something which goes beyond the emotions.

When the honeymoon period is over, when the feeling of love is gone, when the daily routines get dull, when the sex is no longer sizzling, when the beautiful becomes the ugly, when what attracts becomes repulsive, will you still hold on to your partner's hand? Or will you pack up and leave, since society has made parting a relatively breezy proceeding?


Going beyond the fluttering of the heart, the hyperventilation, the butterflies in the stomach, and the nervous speechlessness, what do you make of the moments when your partner has to leave in the midst of a dinner date due to urgent crop ups? How about when your partner forgets the anniversaries? Or when your partner ceases to notice the change in hairstyle or that new dress?

Will you take on the problems with your partner, determined for resolve, or will you turn to someone else who understands you better? How about when you no longer feel the excitement of the chase? Will you make the effort to invent new ways to spice things up, or will you just indulge in a new chase from someone else?


As I always say, "It's the perspective."

And right now at this moment, this is my perspective. Will it change as I grow older? Perhaps. But as usual, "It's the perspective." Why wonder about what's to come when it's the present we should cherish and focus on. Life is too short to wonder about the "what ifs" and "if only".

The once sacred marriage is now reduced to a flimsy ceremony with a fluid nature. So do I really need it to make a commitment?

I don't need it, I just want it. And do I really need what I want?

Not necessarily.