Thursday, May 08, 2008

Mirrored self.

It suddenly dawned upon me that my life has hit a plateau at the moment. Nothing's challenging or exciting. There's nothing to keep me occupied and I'm micro-managing my time everyday.

The insomnia is back, with me hitting the sheets between 6-9am, and waking up after a mere 4-5 hours. The bad habit of my reluctance to sleep even when I'm dead tired is back as well.

Get a job, you say. But what can it do for me other than occupying myself and generating incomes? Having worked before, be it full time or part-time, jobs can only get as challenging as a tofu is bland. I need something more than that to feed the ferocious beast in me which has an insatiable appetite for novelty.


How does one hold the same position for years? It's baffling. How can one remain at the same spot without moving? It's incomprehensible.

I'm deeply curious about anything and everything, and I'm a black hole for knowledge. I crave constant informational feed, and it bores me to stop learning at all.

This new person I'm evolving to be. This metamorphosis of my being. I find myself foreign, and it's intriguing to unearth my personality and characteristics. Those who have been with me through my teens till now, will agree that I'm a different person. Even I'm surprised at myself.


I no longer bound myself to anything, and I'm slowly uprooting myself. I know not of where my next destination will be, but I know for sure that I want to drift.

It's not the escapist in me, or the old act of rebellion. It's just that I can no longer envision myself staying safe in my comfort zone. I will not compromise to play safe anymore. And the scariest thing is, I'm starting to question if I should move forth towards varsity. As much as I want it, it's almost a conformist journey.


The birth of the wild heart and the forming of the nomadic self. What kind of journey will it bring forth to embark on?

So many questions, yet so limited the answers.



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