The End

I have just lost everything, and in all honesty, it was a huge relief. There isn't the need to keep pushing myself when the drive has long been gone, being fuelled on purely by the mentality that "I have to do it for so-and-so" and "I can't abandon the ship now".

It has gotten to the point that every single person who walked through the door, I loathe them. Those same thoughts kept running through my mind, painting a poisonous picture of every single thing. Reminded me of the day when I walked away from the office because I couldn't make myself walk through its door. The kind of crushing pressure I put on myself. It will be my downfall one day.

"Why are you so weak?"

"When will you change for the better?"

"Why do you keep beating yourself up?"

"If you can't even handle the stress here, what about that of the outside world?"

Hurtful words, but filled with truth. Brutal honesty, but I'm too tired to retaliate or defend. There is no point in doing so. Just let it wash over like a tidal wave. It hurts, but you get over it. It slapped you around, but it's momentary.

Isn't that LIFE?

Reality sucks. No one said it was awesome.

My world may feel like crap to me, but so does that of many others. So why bother whining? Why bother with justification? Why not just shut up and let it be? Sinking or swimming? If it doesn't even bother me, then it really isn't much of your business.

So what if I once shone so brightly? It's all over. It's all in the past. The past is dust. Perhaps now I just want to be dirt?

Self-satisfaction comes in many forms.