You're too hard on yourself.
Haven't we had this conversation two years ago?
When you keep pushing someone's button, you're testing the boundaries. But when they push your button in return, you clam right up.
Yeah. The more I push their button, the further they expand. But I just go inwards. What a contradiction.
In a relationship, you're the abnormal one.
What do you mean abnormal?
Well, people tend to react in a certain way, and that's normal. But you react in a totally different way, and that's abnormal.
I don't know why I do the things I do. I don't know why I feel the way I feel. Being in a state of limbo, and so out of place. I constantly push everyone away as a justification to my direction-less advance in life. Am I capable of being happy? It's as if all is just a pretense. A pretense of being all right. A pretense of being normal.
I started with zero, and I'm going to end up with zero.
I don't know why.
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